The shirt is mine, the pants are mine, the bra not so much
i wanna stay in my bed and fart for a few more hours
One of my students just wrote an essay on how ninjas, like drug addicts, must realize they need help before they can get better...I gave it an A+
Dude I gave him a bj because he was upset about the NFL draft, if that doesn't lock it down, i don't know what does
the australian girl literally just drank an entire pitcher of beer in about twenty seconds. i want to go to there.
Just found out he cheated on me last night. But its Shark Week so I will deal with it next week.
I have a fannypack full of condoms and acid. Let's get weird.
I'm pretty sure I swallowed a whole condom
i think he spiked my sandwich with a viagra
Yeah. I had to take off my shirt. It's soaked in weakness.
I'd be careful with that one, she got 86'd from the family dollar while SOBER.
My butt remains clenched, sir.
Well I've always wanted to get head while playing WoW...
K I'll do it, but mine is going to be WAY weirder. Your not allergic to shellfish, right?
Was not aware that standing loudly up off the couch and loudly, drunkenly slurring "I'M EIGHTEEN NOW BITCHES" counted as a primitive mating call.
Crop dusting thru forever 21
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