i just hate vaginas for liking penis's insside them
Charging the asians next door to us $5 a page to print their final papers because theirs broke. Bars close in 2 hours, lets go
If you're trying to piece together your night, I can tell you where those tassels came from.
Opened my wallet to find a slice of ham with a phone number written on it in sharpie.
we had a ceremony where you passed your fake id onto me in the middle of the bar. i was on my knees and you presented it to me. i don't think the bartenders were suspicious though
GOOD NIGHT DREAM OF ALCOHOL SNO CONES
Pretty sure I was rubbing Halloween candy all over my face and saying "these are my bitches."
I think i morst likely have 95 %patulas for hands and probably i also went to eGypt with so manyfriends. We laids in the sarcaphoguses.
You sound pretty unsure about all of this.
She bent over while grinding on me on the dance floor and her thong straps were hanging out, I thought it was a good idea to grab the straps with both hands and pretend to be riding in Santa's sleigh...not my brightest moment.
We have a vagina exchange agreement. Neither of us can hook up with any of our own law firm's summer associates. So we have a scout and referral program and invite each other to the other firm's summer events. Criss-cross!! Works every summer.
CALL 911 HAND IS STUCK IN THE GARBAGE DISPOSAL. HELP
Do we still have any pizza left from last night?
She pretty much spent NYE measuring dicks, trying to decide which one to take home.
We talked about breaking up, had sex, and in the middle of said sex, talked more about breaking up- best sad day ever
She asked what a chaser is. I died a little inside, please come back..
His beard looks like it smells like beer, cocaine and old pussy juice
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