Balls are like the throw pillows of the penis
we were having sex and the sweat made her make up run... seriously laid there and watched her face just melt into ugly.
We uncovered another pile of vomit after you left. And i am not talking about the one in the vase
We had to go visit his dealer in the hospital to buy some weed.
why is there a fishing net hanging from my ceiling fan?
being a senior sucks, I just started embracing my inner slutty college girl, and it's almost time to put her away...for like, ever. and i really like her.
Is it possibile to sprain your taint?
She was that bad?
When we were finished I asked him how long it had been since he'd cum that hard. He thought really hard for a while before telling me his brain forgot how years worked.
I was gonna turn him down, but he correctly identified a song from Pocahontas.
if you come you're not allowed to wear pants. if you arrive wearing pants you won't be wearing them long.
So I just saw someone get shoved into a car trunk by your car.
This is why I can't take dates to shows... I've literally made out with everyone in this band. And two of the guys in the crowd. And the bartender.
His mom came while we were asleep naked and started asking me about my plans after high school... Is that even a thing.
The next morning I found her spread eagle asleep on the living room floor and he was asleep with his head in her crotch. I needed a ride and had to wake them up.
We're about to get drunk and it feels wrong without you
Randomize
