eating mexican with the mother in law. this meal made her decide to tell us about her colon cleansing diet
god is playing jersey shore on new years on purpose. he wants me to play drinking games and die. i wish he knew how serious this is.
I don't have any food so I made a martini so I could eat the olives. Don't tell me I can't think outside the box.
while i was sleeping he changed my screen saver to his dick with a heart frame around it. I just might be falling in love.
Dude, I went home and roller-bladed into her bedroom so I didn't have a 'walk' or shame in the morning..I wouldn't talk to her unless she refereed to me as Brink
The girls we hooked up with were hammered, pushing each other in a shopping cart into the sushi place and through the restaurant... One's a volunteer EMT. God help her patients.
You told me my blanket felt like ground beef.
I felt that there wouldn't be enough planB and forgiveness to go around
I've never seen a guy eye-fuck someone so hard in my entire life. I thought he would develop laser vision, bore holes into your body, and not even realize your innards would be spilling everywhere. That's how bad it was.
Well, my eyeball is red and the rest of my eye is black. Oh the joys of drinking with u. PS- I laid in a pile of sawdust. it was ok at the time.
I made one of my coworkers cheers to me not being pregnant. I've never talked to him before tonight. Keeping it classy.
His dick is magical but I don't want to die in this blizzard do you see my dilemma
good news, i've got tacos. bad news, kevin's in the ER. more good news, the tacos were free.
drunkkkkk be here I heart you
It's not even noon yet and I just fucked my professor's son in the psych lab..it's gonna be a great day.
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