Sorry I thought I was a lizard earlier.
Just made a pepperoni sandwich with cheese, mayo, and pickles. Poverty is like pot, without the happy feeling.
Corey Haim died. 80's me is so sad
The only thing that makes me want to stop the affair is that I am the Monica Lewinksy in this triangle.
He's eating a cream cheese sandwich. He's obviously distressed.
I caught him trying to shit in her bed. I asked him why he was doing it and he said "because it's wrong."
No. My vagina is not the scapegoat for your poor decisions.
Ice cream: Good. Fraternity: Good. Eating ice cream off a Skid Row bum's ass crack in order to get into a Fraternity: Homoerotic at best. I quit.
And after getting thrown out of the frat house, getting carried up the hill for a half an hour, puking 5 times, and almost getting stopped by campus security, she still insisted he sleep with her. Gotta give her credit, even blacked she kept her eyes on the prize
Due to the events of st patties day last year I created a moral and ethical policy so that I won't get kicked out of the bar again. It mostly consists of not wearing pants so then I don't take them off at the bar.. and subsequently get kicked out.
Let's be honest, your relationships fail because the man you're looking for is the equivalent of an intellectual blow-up doll.
I want to bone him until his eyes fall out
11:30pm - Shots together. 12:15pm Shots together. 12:45pm Shots together. 9:30am Plan B's together.
I told him that he could either pay the 10 dollars for the box of condoms or I'll make him pay for the diapers.
Lobby closes at 2 AM on Thursday, but everyone walking still wants food... I could run a "Taco Bell Taxi" when I clock off at 2 and charge a dollar to give drunks a ride through drive thru.
Someones thought of a way to afford tuition.
Randomize
