i didnt like the question options for my yahoo account..so i made up the question and it was "favorite bathroom to shit in"
I'm too hungover for some lady to talk to me about potatoes
I may have been to starbucks and 2 classes with balls still written on my face...
oh well at that point I was already depressed with life because I had watched the bratz movie.
and i had to drink on "never have i ever unsuccessfully tried to seduce a virgin ginger"
I feel like he knows I had a dream about him eating me out in the janitors closet at the holiday party. He's giving me THAT look.
I have your shoes, your bike, and someones blue underwear. Round 2 tonight?
2011 senior yearbook drinking game. we're taking a shot whenever some dumbass uses that quote about how life isn't isn't about the breaths you take, but the moments that take your breath away. also that retarded wayne gretzky one about missing shots you don't take.
TAKE ALL THE MAERHMALLOWS AND PUT THEM ALL IN THE MAGICAL NIGHTSTAND
He just fingered me to the Lion King soundtrack. And when he left he turned dramatically and said "I'll be back after work. Be prepared." Taint ALL the childhood memories.
I woke up at 4 am. Literally pissed. No idea what happened. I could have fucked a cow.
That makes 14 Xmas cards already! Middle aged people are really nice to their dealers.
I just stood beside an Amish man and bought Cocoa Krispies and tampons.
Learn from my mistakes. DO NOT try to steam a garment of clothing while you are wearing it. The burn is not worth the de-wrinkle.
I'm going to go ahead and refrain from sexting you in an airport that is currently at a "level orange" security threat.
Randomize
