My professor really needs to stop abbreviating. I'll never remember what "Fun. Anal. Trade-offs?" means when i study.
"romantic friends" sounds more classy then friends with benfits
He had in his status he loved beating off and tagged his wife. another reason facebook should be for college.
Welll when you have a beer at 8:30 am you've already decided whaat kind of Sunday it ism
just to let ya know we might have to take a stripper snowboardin sometime
Even though he was watching you pee on his bedroom floor, you kept denying it and saying he was dreaming
I'm stealing this baby.
Well I always support illegal activity but where would you put it?
I would like to apologize once again for rubbing your thigh with my hands and face for a very long time last night.
My condoms might be a little big for you but hey, a big sweater is better than no sweater at all when it's cold right?
Then he started caressing my eye brow. Like repetedly. For at least 15 minutes. It was strangely mesmerizing
I need a fuck buddy with more available hours
I remember telling you that I think Taylor Swift has stolen my essence. I still think that's true.
Only a true best friend would remind you to make sure your cucumber dildo is organic
It's the Ides of March, motherfucker. That means we're supposed to daydrink, right?
Dear god my vagina.
Randomize
