Just watched 1 guy 1 jar with my mom. Awkwardville...
Apparently I fed my Plan B to my turtle last night.
This does no justice to the amount of paint I'm covered in or the amount of balls I'm tripping.
Well, find something you can use as a snorkel and be aware of your surroundings.
Nothing like a $37 iTunes bill. Jesus Christ do you know how many $2 beer/shot specials that is??? The answer is 16. 16 beer/shot specials.
as she was beating the hell out of his ex, she screamed prison rules, and smashed her head with a beer bottle. I'm oddly afraid yet so attracted to her now.
In all honesty of all my sexual conquests, his dick is probably my proudest moment.
I was thinking about getting her an edible arrangement for an engagement gift. You want in?
I'm buying her a drink and not telling her to dump his ass. that's my gift.
I just learned my tits were fire resistant. I should join the freakin circus
Maybe just the first 2 wks of Nov can be dick detox.
Nothing quite like walking through a spider web on your way back in from smoking to fuck up a perfectly good high.
Apparently while fucking a girl in the ass last night I cracked a molar, trying to find a dentist now.
I haven't had to masterbate since I started dating him over a year ago. I don't even know if I remember how and my vagina is calling.
carb up bitch. we're drinking with football players.
Dude I had my dad cock block me once
Randomize
