bobby jindal makes me wanna cover my ears. you make me wanna smile.
I can't remember if we talked about feelings. Fuck you Miller High Life.
JoAnns office is warmer than mine. . .it must be because she has the gateway to hell under her desk.
I just want to get to the point in our relationship where I can get on top of her and fart and we can both laugh...not just me.
the best part about being a teacher is there are always 20 little kids around me to blame my farts on
just threw up into the cup of Gatorade I was hoping would settle my stomach. thanks again, alcohol.
she made me put on a condom before giving me a handjob...this is why i hate freshmen
One of my other friends found me and the dog in the back seat of this one guy's car....I don't even know
I didn't know how to tell her I was too busy getting stoned and making a baked potato to meet up and finish our group project.
Thanks for the viagra you gave me last night. I ended up getting called in to work to cover a shift. So I had to tell Kayla that I couldn't hang out and I had to try and hide my dick all night while walking serving people food all night.
The fun I thought I would be having now when I was six is vastly different from what I am currently doing. Hurraaay sex and vicodin.
Since I won't be making love with anyone on a bed of roses this year on Sunday I bought a Mustang to fill the gap
OH MY GOD REMEMBER ALL THAT I LOVE NEW YORK I DVRED BECAUSE I JUST DID
Lighting a fucking bong with a candle. Straight up dedication.
I'll be coming off of 7 days of not drinking. No horse tranqs either. I haven't been this sober since I was in the womb
Randomize
