oh good, I think they're gone
the painters?
my herpes
That was a long time ago. She needed the money.
but, i was nude. you really should respect my stupidity and delete them. please.
Baton twirling is one of his activities on facebook.
Also he is "an Ohio stae gran champion twirler". You cannot tell me he's straight
There's a walmart bag of my vomit outside my front door. I just really need someone to appreciate that with me.
First date. He's wearing a tuxedo shirt and keeps asking me about our future children. Escape plan #3 is now in action...
I am telling you that nothing wakes you up like stomach acid exiting your nostrils at 10AM
So tasty. Tasty like a vagina with ninjas in it
sorry about having a shotput competition with your microwave, seemed like a good idea at the time
I'm pretty sure last night was the first time I've seen someone drink beer-soaked paper towels. Ever.
Remind me again why sleeping with a coworker and his wife would be a terrible idea.
I'm just gonna plan on never getting a bf. everything I touch turns to gay
Today is my 3 year wedding anniversary...and I've seen three different dicks.
Of course I'm going to see her again. She had waterproof handcuffs in her shower.
you just don't appreciate it because you've never been arrested
Randomize
