when you close your eyes do you see, that mystical creature will be me.
who is this?
my mouth tastes like poor choices
It was laundry day and I was wearing last xmas undies. he took one look and went...you's a ho, ho, ho. my response you ask? for less dough, dough, dough. I'm a slut.
with a sacreligious after taste.
its like randi wears special contacts, but instead of colors they make her eyes say "I want cock"
we usually just have an Easter beer hunt and never end up at church anyways
Nothing makes my dick softer than hot girls in rain boots.
I almost masterbated to the avatar love scene ha it was so hot
No. untill you have done a puke that contains nothing but semen and tequila, you do not 'feel my pain'
I can already almost taste penis in my mouth
You will never know an awkward moment until your parents pick you up from a one night stand.
Passing out drunk in my therapists lobby may not be the best way to confirm my "stability"
My next goal in this relationship is to teach my boyfriend that there are valid reasons to be fear of dolphins completely.
I lost a fight last night. By that I mean I head butt the bar and busted my lip open.
wait you fucked a guy who wears k-swiss? seriously?
I know, im living my 7th grade dream
Let’s try it, I’ve never had a bad time with sex, tacos and beer.
Randomize
