I totally understand Scottish logic. No underwear+skirt=great
Billy Mays is dead too!
Somewhat annoying American icons better be watching their backs
Is it a bad thing that the only time i wear nice clothes to class, is when i get too fucked up the night before and wear the same clothes i went out in?
I sat down with you and helped you write your will last night. I was THAT convinced that you weren't waking up.
There is a bruise on my cock the size of a golfball. Bad sign.
The guy in the next stall screamed courtesy flush and then puked. Bless you Vegas
He compliments me like a gay guy and fucks me like a starved nympho. I'm in love.
Also since my birthday I've on average fucked a new guy every 12.5 days. I'm doing an excel spreadsheet
Just made a floating bacon boat for the hot tub. This is what America is all about.
I was at the pharmacy picking up my herpes medication and the pharmacist asked if I had any questions about my medicine, looked at the bottle, and laughed. Insult to injury man.
She said I had a really great aura. Which I think is hippie code for "I bet you can give me a mind melting orgasm"
Girl this is ridiculous I told my self that I would stop having sex in stairwells yet it keeps happening
I woke up hugging my purse and I found a business card in my underwear. How?
Van sex tonight? No need to tell me how classy that sounded.
the girl who hid my weed when the cops came has a birthday coming up. i feel like i should get her something.
Randomize
