You can't hide fat with big sunglasses.
I just followed up on a noise complaint...only to find 2 girls in bikinis covered in jello with beer cans everywhere. I couldn't bring myself to bust that party.
I want to be a cop.
and when i screamed you came in my eye, i found out that everyone else in the room had only pretneded to be sleeping
well he showed me a naked baby picture and i was right it hasn't grown
I don't remember anything other than how good it felt when I peed my pants.
Going home with an argentinian named sulvio. Ill let you know how it goes.
I pretty much threw up on him while he slept, I had one task today which was to wash the sheets that I threw up on and I turned them pink. I would leave me if I could
Its gonna be a symphony of fucks
Woke up backwards on a recliner
I think he just tried to put your boyfriend in a trashcan....
AMERICA LOVES YOU. RIDE THAT DICK LIKE PAUL REVERE RODE HIS HORSE SO MANY YEARS AGO
I feel like we have a good system here turning our sketchy decisions into great stories.
Normally, it will inspire me to work. Today, it's inspiring me to masturbate.
Promise me if ever I think I can't do anything, remind me that I waxed my own butthole
I kinda realized titty fucking is purely for our enjoyment, they dont really get much out of it, except for a guy sitting on them and and a dick bouncing of their chin
Randomize