wtf someone played my fucking brickbreaker games and lost i had ten fucking lives. ughhh
maybe you did when you were drunk
no way, i wasn't THAT drunk.
new revelation: five guys for breakfast
new revelation: previous revelation not a good revelation
her face looked like how i feel after Taco Bell
I was chocking and even did the sign for it..And you continued to just laugh
she had that "i just got used" look on her face when i kicked her out at 5am
I put you to bed and you would not go unless I let you sleep with the vodka
I'm just saying. If this how my magic vagina shows it's magic then I don't want any
Sending dick pics while driving a car going 80 in the rain at night to a married woman? Why hello 2014
I should be free tonight unless my 5 speed vibrator arrives in the mail today, than we might have scheduling conflicts.
Can finally say I won't be lonely this Valentine's day! Mother nature decided to drop by.
We kept having to tell you that you couldn't just sit wherever you wanted at Walmart. Sitting in the middle of the raw meat section was unacceptable and children were staring at you.
I guess it's part of life. Sometimes your ex boyfriend becomes a drag queen.
I attempted to walk home at 5:30 this morning cuz i was mad at him cuz he didn't want to cuddle and didn't have pizza. I got 3 houses down n fell over.
in mid sex he pointed out my great gatsby tattoo and we started discussing themes and metaphors from our fave fitzgerald novels
you need to stop fucking English majors
she told him my safe word. I'm gonna casually work it into conversation and at him suggestively to see if he realizes i want to have rough sex with him
Randomize
