i know we just met, but i forget your name, and i'm wondering why my penis burns?
Hey sorry i havent responded. i threw up on my phone while i was sleeping
Pappa wants mamma naked
He asked me how my body knew that a month was up when it was time for my period.
Why does Thanksgiving make hot girls feel disgusting and fat girls feel horny? Its killing my prospects.
They told me I stole 50 buns and a bottle of mayo and would whisper in their ears to look under my shirt to see what was for breakfast... benefit of starting to drink at 9 am
you tried turning the bar into a spelling b competition last night and every time someone couldn't spell something you would make them chug.
We've been here for ten minutes. She told me I wasn't "Irish enough", licked my tits, and then sprinkled green glitter on them.
There has to be a way to make college graduation in Las Vegas different than any other Tuesday in Las Vegas. Strippers? Been there. Getting arrested for public indecency on the strip? Done that.
I'm drunk, laying in bed, eating macaroni salad. I dropped a piece and tried to pick it up with a fork. My cleavage is bleeding and I haven't been laid yet. Heeeyyyy!!!
Apparently we carried the stove upstairs. I Woke up with it in my room.
I still maintain we were not that drunk......
Dude, Dimensionally it doesn't even fit in that stairway! We might have to knock a wall out to get it back down!
You wouldn't believe how many pro-life stickers, and "show us your tits" signs there are between here and Dallas.
Just because you are home alone for the weekend doesn't mean you can act like a nudist.
I accept your opinion but respectfully disagree. Also, I'm sitting in your chair.
In other news, I just sneezed and almost shit myself. What is happening to my life??
If that guy asks u bout me, I said my name is Jenelle, from CT, I'm a cat behiavor consultant and I'm 29. Back my story up
Randomize
