You picked the wrong day to call in sick. She's wearing the librarian glasses today.
I'm going to go hang out on a giant wooden pirate ship for 5 days.
I was to drunk to drive all the way up there, so we just had rough phone sex instead
it's like i need an invisible sign across my boobs that says "DOESN'T HAVE DADDY ISSUES" that only old men can see
two gay guys came in and bought just a kite and a box of wine. Why cant I have saturday nights that awesome
If you can't find your cat in the morning it's cause i put him in the laundry basket and then put the laundry basket in the shower.
He drew a bath for me. It was only cute until he started throwing in celery and calling me soup.
I'm just walking around Lowe's groping the carpets....
i would really love it if at least once per weekend i did not wake up to you half naked passed out on the floor
who's job is it to make sure we don't run out of tp since the incident of 09'... Thats right you go get some
Texas awaits me. And all the cocks that live there too.
Well she made a 15 year old cry, the grandmother did an ice luge and I woke up to the sound of sex moans
Under no circumstances is tits McGee to make that kind of decision about my life!
My stuff that was at your place last night smells like doughnuts. I'm not even mad.
I'm kinda sad I'm leaving the bank. I never got to have rough sex in the vault.
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