know what turns me on? long, stringy hair on a pasty looking girl with an overstuffed backpack and kneepads over her jeans in case she falls off her scooter
your less of a man for seeing that
You discussed the Arab/Israeli conflict with the guy behind the counter at the Kebab shop telling him you supported his people. He was clearly Asian.
u were so high that u chewed on candle wax for an hour
she made my bed before she left. i think i'm gonna keep banging her to get the housework done
i find it sad that i can no longer sit in the back of class for fear that someone will fart into the heater again.
I love reading their "i love you more" , "no i love you more" war on facebook today knowing that he hooked up with me last night. I bet i know who wins that one.
He's so young, I keep getting a mental image of him in footie pajamas. It's cute but it's wrong. Or is it?
Apparently getting a blow job in the mens room from the bar owners daughter will get you kicked out.
he may or may not have motorboated me on the steps of the library of congress
He told me my outfit made me look like a twelve year old then proceeded with "but you don't look like a whore"
My brother slept till 4, bought a sword, got drunk and sharpened said sword. I went to corporate compliance training. Life is not fair.
Let's just say we ended up at Denny's with a strippers shoe that we had to discreetly leave at the door to the strip club this morning
The fact that I bookended my summer with pregnancy scares doesn't upset me. The fact that he's a trombone major does...
You know you hit Mardi Grad bottom when you come to in someone's kitchen on the floor and you are eating gumbo out of a Mixing bowl with a ladle......yeah rock fucking bottom
How do you politely tell someone to get out of your house in Russian
Randomize
