I was staring at you from my window across the quad. I wanted to let you know so it's not creepy
i have now learned nap means the same thing as sex in college
as i creep her facebook pics from back in the day till now, i noticed that her lazy eye has gotten better
i just witnessed two asians having sex for the first time ten feet away from me..hes having a seizure..what the duck is going on???
He blew a load on his roommates pillow just to piss him off. Why did you introduce me to these people?
I know she was blacked out, but she looked directly at the toilet and said "we meet again"
It was fun, but I mean, any day that starts with shower tequila is bound to be good.
You never know how much you love your bed until you sleep with 4 other people in your car.
So one possible side effect of women taking Viagra is that my tongue feels swollen. You having any?
This mustache is awesome. I can't pass by a mirror without looking in it and thinking damn, I'd like to give that guy a handy.
Oh my god if I have to go on fetlife to find a guy who will fuck me right around here, I'm going to scream.
We shall need something stronger. Anal lube, the blood of a giraffe, and a bay leaf should do the trick. Make the paste and cover your left knee and anus in it.
I only wore my thong with cheeseburgers on it because I thought we'd have sex. So I basically wasted my best thong for nothing.
Stop recording sex noises and setting them as my ringtones. This time it was at a funeral
And the you walked in and said to the only under age dude "IM NOT SLEEPING WITH YOU TONIGHT!!!" You may not have high standards but thanks for not sleeping with my brother!
Randomize
