So I'm going back to my apartment just to get my vibrator.
I thought you were moving in with your boyfriend for the summer?
Well....one will keep me from having to pay rent and the other satisfies. I'll let you figure it out.
you puked in the cab and all over yourself and tried to convince the cabby it was there already when he got upset... then you puked again. not too convincing are you
if i hear one more christmas song, i will fucking shoot myself.
season finale of lost and an oz of weed. tonight my mind is going to be blown.
stephanie tanner's voice is so fucking annoying. no wonder she resorted to crystal meth.
why is there a clump of hair nailed to my wall?
the cops didn't wanna shut the tailgate down but the strippers weren't allowed to take money without a license or somthing
They're letting me teach a freshman-laden class now. This university needs better background checks.
You just threw your burrito at the passing teenage couple and yelled "It's never gonna last" of course your were a shit show
five cans of playdoh and a game of guess whose penis ...
Question: what's the protocol for seeing your mistress walking alongside her clueless boyfriend? If you could answer this ten minutes ago, that'd be great.
Well I didn't get a shacker shirt but I somehow managed to come home with superman socks
Can we go out and get blitzed in celebration that they'll be no more surprise kids
I wanna print it out and hang it on the fridge like parents do with good report cards.
oh the joys of a picture of a negative pregnancy test
It's next to that place that has cock fighting.
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