Just passed a sign for an "adult food and fuel superstore". Wtf does that even mean?
im not sure but a few things come to mind which just makes me giggle
Guys should not giggle. Ever.
I think i just called up my ex and talked to her for 20 minutes about frogs and how happy i am to be wearing shorts
you threw up in the bushes next to the ABC store and kept saying "you're home, blueberry vodka, you're home!"
just mention it in a side comment sometime today... like oh by the way i have a daughter but um yeah my day was good
I think that the winner of this years fantasy football league should get naming rights to you child
She just asked if I wanted to eat nachos off of her boobs... I'm going to marry this girl.
he literally referred to his penis as the alaskan bull worm from spongebob. when can we get married
It was Thanksgiving sex. I was thankful for it. Need I say more?
It's like everything I need in life within a five block radius: booze, toilets, dogs, dicks.
No more house parties. We're almost fucking 30 years old and I slept until 6 pm.
saying, "have a good fall!" After fucking a virgin boy is good etiquette, right?
I've sold more douches working here than one man should sell in a lifetime
Do you know how awkward it is to get a dick pic while working at babies r us?
danced like there was no tomorrow. surprise. there's a tomorrow
I woke up this morning fully clothed with a dart in my pocket
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