I just broke up with my girlfriend lets go find strippers that need rent money.
I understand how i shit in my shoes, but explain why you were wearing them.
is it bad that i kinda- ok, reallyyy don't remember having sex with him last night?
Google Chrome's "top 8 most visited sites" page has become my motivation to stop masturbating
During sex he wiggled his hips and said "I'm turning the ice cream" Deal breaker?
I just found a bagel and a condom in my coat pocket. I love blackouts
Just checked an empty cooler on the flight to Notre Dame. You don't have to tell me you're jealous, I already know.
Does saving a line for myself for the morning so I don't seem hungover at work count as responsibility?
Adult decisions.
Just keep my face away from hard objects. And by that I do not mean erect penised.... those are totally fine. It's more just things like rocks, table edges, blunt objects, etc so I don't get another concussion.
Well am going to a strip club before sun down, I dont think anything good can come from that.
Now that makes it sound like you had sex with a guy in batman costume and you never took the mask off so you can't 100 percent be sure.
Relaxed was like phase 1 of this phase 7 high
I had one beer! ONE BEER! They took shots in mourning of my tolerance last night. My ability to drink is a joke.
I purposely left my thong and accidentally left my ethics book, hairspray and most of my dignity.
I blame her lesbian super powers of coercion.
Randomize
