That arnold schwarzeneger picture looks strikingly similar to paul
Not half as good looking as paul
I'd say paul has bigger bicep peaks, but who am I to judge
He came on my face and tried to draw out a smiley face because he said I looked like I had a bad day
just started drinking the sprite you used to ice your crotch last night. Missing you already
As I was puking last night I told them "it's ok I'm a paramedic"
I went outside for a smoke at 4 and things seemed normal. It's 6 now and the front lawn is COVERED in tortilla chips. WTF?
she played "i just wanna get married" by jagged edge while we were having sex. why cant i avoid stage 5 clingers
I found out what happened to that girls weave last night. It was draped over a bush in my backyard.
Ps, did you know if you google "drunk jenga", you're the first image that shows up?
Wow just saw this. Nothing like a little anal sex to ring in 2012.
And now she's hand feeding me pork rines and showing me her angry birds high scores. This is Vegas.
I don't give a damn about what he wants to do with his life. Personalities are for pussies.
It's kind of like, standing in a garage and pretending you're a car. Except you're naked.
You called my nipples compassionate. What does that even mean?
I swear if you get so drunk that I have to sing Bohemian Rhapsody to you again to get you to come out of the bathroom I'm leaving you at the bar this time.
Can't beat it when the local bar sends you off with a loaf of bread on the way out the door.
I'm getting 800 nuggets from McDonald's
Randomize
