Ambien. No doubt about it.
it sounded like he was fisting a can of crisco.
when she started arguing that Girl Talk was in fact a DJ, i knew i could never sleep with her
I answered the my mom's phone call about what we're doing for father's day while he was still fucking me. She thought I seemed really excited about his hiking boots present.
Working out to an exercise video on OnDemand. Also, drinking beer and eating cream cheese with a side of bagel in between stretches.
Yeah. I stopped her before she flashed the guy for a free slice of pizza. She called me a gentleman and then before I knew it she was in my bed.
He showed up 3 hours late wearing roller skates and acted like nothing was wrong with that.
I've friend zoned this boy hard. I made him change my nipple rings before he went home.
You fucked him. I baby bird fed him whiskey . I feel like we've bonded.
I just walked in on my sixteen year old sister soaking her tampon in vodka. I go to Berkeley. And they think she's the good daughter.
This is going to be the time I got green body paint on Chris' ceiling all over again...
I came home wearing somebody's thong. If you're missing one message me privately.
I CLEANED MY BATHROOM FOR YOU!! betrayal
I hooked up with a sophomore, passed out at midnight, and apparently drunkenly peed on Nicole's wedding invitation
I'm hungover and in a fort. And I hate you.
So many questions
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