he put his p in my v, then his p in my a, and then tried to put the p in my m? first, double dipping is rude. second, i'm glad he finished shortly after that, i'm afraid of where he'd try to stick it next. my ear?
I feel like abortions should bother me more
I could hear his roommate in the background imitating my sex sounds...
The state of Wisconsin is just irresponsible for letting me buy this many fireworks
If I had a penis, I would stick it EVERYWHERE. I don't know what these guys are doing.
I had a dream that our used condom started talking to me. I told me that I did an amazing job, and told me that it saved me. From aids.
drunk doesnt even begin to explain it. he said he was going to get playing cards from the lobby and came back 20 minutes later with a full set of sheets.
I can't believe i facilitated a beer for sweater vest deal last night...
I wonder if he has realized that I have poured all if those shots he bought into the tip jar
Oh my god. He likes it up the butt. But loves womanly support. Omg. Its bad. Its bad. Ive had too much whiskey for this to be ANYthing except bad.
She left me naked in my bed and without my phone I had her give me her phone number on the calculator on my laptop. It might be fake.
............HELP Ive been abducted by vodka and its poisoning my brain fat chicks are getting cute and i slept with my sisters friend who slightly resembles john kerry....,,help
I am the slutty bisexual glue that holds this friendship group together.
I've honestly never felt so much emotion towards a wall
Eight drinks in. Subject is fondling chips before eating them. Intoxicated texting has expanded from best friend to random guy I met in FBLA.
Randomize
