this morning he rolled over looked at me and said "oooo, you look like i need a drink" and then put on his clothes and left without another word
I feel kinda awkward using the Sesame Street themed Google to search for hot young pussy...
I don't care that you fucked her. I'm offended that once again, you fucked someone with me in the room because you assumed I was asleep.
We have a tower of vodka coming. OF VODKA
We found her in the fireplace eating dog biscuits.
I'd rate him "doable" on a scale from "ew, run" to "you should've already fucked him".
That's about an "8" on normal scales.
That ACT prep teacher knew i was hung. I could see it in her eyes.
So my mind was like YOU ARE TOTALLY GONNA MAKE IT TO CLASS TODAY but then my body was all LOL NO YOU AIN'T.
you said "this ones for the homies" and proceeded to pour the shot into your other cup instead of the ground b/c "good liquor is not meant to wasted no matter the circumstances"
I think I fell in love with her when I saw her kick a freshman in the chest
WHY DID YOU INVITE ALEX?!?
Because she offered to bring a keg.
And also because you fucked her in an alley last week and I'm trying to be a good friend.
I threw up in a wendys bag in her car. when i went to throw it out the window it exploded all over me. No I don't think there will be a second date.
So apparently I tried texting you last night to tell you I wasn't coming home, but all I had typed were lyrics from Evita
Crawl out into the sunshine and off your vibrator for 7 minutes
It's done, I'm done, goodbye veneer of class and dignity it was nice knowing you
Randomize
