This girl is very crazy
She's one of those compassionate ppl
So everything I said on this seemingly endless date offended her
and technically it was a rebound
so lol
and then you got rebounded for the same girl he rebounded you for and still never scored ... it was like watching an LA Clippers game
if by 'bottleservice' you mean 'bringing beers in my purse' then yes, we are.
I'm driving to work with an ice pack on my vagina. how was your weekend?
We are so drunk I just let him piss between my legs on the toilet. That's love.
No kidding. I just keep looking at that 'under 21 until 11/21/2011' on my id and whispering "soon enough"
I woke up on the toilet with my feet gorilla glued to the floor, cake and makeup on my face and my hand glued to my head.
Welcome to the world of vodka. Rule #1: NEVER PASS OUT. Happy 21st
he suggested we do it doggy style cuz it was his dead dogs birthday...i had to do it
got blackout drunk at the conference and wandered around Minneapolis with a homeless person until one of the other interns found me...I think I'm ready for adulthood.
I woke up to see that I had ripped my boxers into a loin cloth because we were watching last of the mohicans
I woke up naked under desk at her apt once during my freshman year. I should have known that friendship was of a different breed...
This weekend I forgot a cup, so I drank my wine out of a Pringles can. So classy. You would have been so proud.
Everyone keeps telling me I look so healthy and happy today: the power of the penis people!!
I've been continuously high for the last 48 hours, and just broke my 4th vibrator. Coincidence? FIND ME A MAN I BEG OF YOU.
I'm sorry I couldn't bail you out, apparenty they dont take credit cards over the phone. Did you at least make any friends in jail?
Randomize
