That cute girl I hooked up with last night clawed my back to hell and gave me a hickey. I look like a white trash warewolf victim
took 5 apple pie shots. caution: flames. not digestable.
i just turned the eviction notice into a beer pong list
it was 6 in the morning, and you cried until i put mulan in. then you proceeded to say every word, not to mention sing along... stop drinking.
hahaha my homeschooled cousin put up graduation pictures. it's just her standing in front of her fire place. With a hand made diploma.
I just dumped out my gym water bottle and filled it with white wine. This is the end.
At least my fat-chick-ratio has not been that bad this semester ...
blew off easter dinner with the fam to go play shot roulette. woke up in nothing but my boxers in the back of a random pickup truck.
If you get any calls give me a heads up. Im drinking rum in my underwear on the back porch.
Would it be inappropriate to send a friend request to the sheriff that fingerprinted me last night???
My blue shorts are now brown from all the stripper fake tan
Goodnight Shia. Goodnight Moon.
How bad was it?
Stopped drinking Sunday, hungover on Tuesday bad.
he drank half a bottle of bushmills, stood up to pee over the side, pissed his pants, sat in the puddle on the deck, told me my life goals were stupid and impossible, and wouldn't leave until 5am. by the time I got up at 8 I had 4 texts and 2 fb messages from him. AND HE STILL THINKS IT WENT WELL
friends who go to the bar together leave the bar together and im not leaving you behind ohana means family
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