mark looks like s**t tonight! thank da lawd we broke up!
it's mark...i'm guessing you didn't mean to send that to me...
im pretty sure i just saw someone trying to catch a fish with his penis
used his ipod to set the mood...1st song was livin on a prayr 2nd song was disco stick
i expected more from guys that i meet at the jersey shore.
The tricky part is not getting sand in any orifices. Or is the plural orifi? Orifi don't, we'll both be unhappy...
you left him a drunk voicemail of you singing speechless by lady gaga balling your eyes out
Just took career test that listed librarian and bartender as top career choices. Fascinating.
well this feels familiar. awake at the crack of dawn laying in the fetal position praying for the sweet release of death. i think im done with jager for a while
Dudes got a Polo tattoo. I don't care if he has a yacht I can't handle that level of gay.
are any of them hardcore sluts...just absolute worthless human beings? if not the paper wins
This might be the most awkward night of my life. And I had someone pee on me once.
he said i balance and complete him. i feel sick
Two drag queens are fighting over me. And yet the night is still getting weirder
We played table tennis, but used tv remotes taped to our foreheads instead of paddles. Every time your opponent scored you took a shot. I'm the current champion as of last night.
Stay positive! You think people like sad vaginas? NO! You'll get some!
So I love answering sex questions in intimate relationships class on a clicker when im sitting next to my cousin..
Randomize
