Ok walking to car, 3 gay guys park get out of car, one on phone says 'I dont know but I was definately getting some curb rubbing'
i would punch a child for taco bell
her teeth should be alot whiter from all of those blowjobs she gives
As a matter of fact you told me i fulfilled your "woodshop teacher fantasy"
he left his wallet here so lets treat ourselves to a lunch for the lack of penis we both had deal with
Had a drag queen carry me to the car. So I'm told...
She was so morning drunk she asked the lady at brueggers for a bandaid and my self respect back
Abby spilt her vodka all over the train's bathroom floor
WE'RE THE ONES DRESSED UP FOR THE LARGEST DRINKING HOLIDAY IN AMERICA WHO ELSE ON THIS TRAIN IS A SUSPECT FOR THIS SMELL?!
Now I can't say for certain but I'm 90 percent are I bathed myself with dog shampoo last night
Just made a floating bacon boat for the hot tub. This is what America is all about.
I'm in the fetal position watching the little mermaid and trying not to die. When do you come home?
Literally just had a girl put her street name into my phone. Yeah.
Fuck you fireball...just straight up fuck out of here
How many hotdogs are you going to eat today?
THE LIMIT DOES NOT EXIST
His Australian accent during sex made me think I was in an Outback Steakhouse commercial
Randomize
