it actually wasnt that awkward...i planned on saying hello and walking away..then she asked if i wanted to go to lunch and i looked at her chest and said absolutely
you washed your face with toilet water last night.. i tried to stop you but you wouldn't have it.
I think I'm going to die by hangover. I'm in my spanish class. So I guess I'm going to be muerte.
we were so desperate we resorted to lego blocks. nuff said.
You ruined his night from a different state? Impressive.
I just got hit on by my highschool french teacher. I need to stop going to this bar.
I just spent 30 minutes cleaning out my coleman grill. Did you really have to have grilled yogurt?
as much as i want to say no i cant cause i need the trophy wife training
What are you doing? Because if it happens to be drinking, or even any activity that rhymes with "drinking", I'll be over in 5.
A guy with the name Pootie Tang winked st me and a guy that doesn't speak English messaged me. These are my choices?
I snorted a few ambien and woke up here. A lady banged on our door, waking us up, demanding our towels.
I just want to have beer shits in my own bathroom. Is that too much to ask for?
I want falafel more than sex right now. That's really saying something for me...
I think I just got drunk texted by my psychiatrist
I woke up in my neighbors backyard with glitter on my teeth and sparklers super glued on my bra. which part was your fault?
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