That's what happens when you let Keystone Light make your decisions.
his internet history is a lot of porn, how to make a hovercraft and side-effects of jacking off too much
Drawing dicks in the frost on people's windshields is a rare joy I allow myself while walking to my 8 AM class.
You are writing your college essay comparing yourself to Lady Gaga, Vladimir Putin, and Dale Earnhardt Jr. and you are worried about the conclusion sounding cheesy?
Let's just go topless and paint glitter over our nipples who the fuck cares
Too lazy to get out of my bed thats 2 feet away from you. Are you sure youre alright?
There's sex hanging in the air like a pinata. European people are no joke.
Totally just drove past you riding your bike. I was like damn, that looks like a cute little hipster boy, and then I realized it was you and that I'd already banged you and it kinda made my day. I hope you're well. Come over soon?
I hooked up with a blind guy last night... he's clapping in order to find his way around our apartment
I decided not to look up the nudes, because I believe that there is a line, and that mocking my old classmate's horrid nudes alone crosses that line.
She's really sweet and cute, but when she drinks, she becomes way too proud of her bush.
I am descending into that finals week rage fueled by ramen, mountain dew and bad sex is what's up.
Last night I went outside to our neighbors and asked them to put in money with me to get a hot tub for our patio. Niceeeee
Should I wear my "kiss me I'm highrish" shirt for my drug screen today?
I don't know who's idea it was to get wine for a frat party but my poor pitiful hung over self really fucking hates them.
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