& he told me 'I don't think ur a big slut-just kind of an average slut'
HE THINKS THATS A COMPLIMENT!!!!!
not to be a dick but do you remember the names of all your friends i made out with after we broke up?
We should live in a duplex and just hook up with randoms for the rest of forever and be animal hoarders.
I can't even type what I drank. I'll throw up
Yeah, it kinda sucks. But it was fun while it lasted. And honestly, his penis is way too big for my life.
Waking up with a sore back because you put the team on it for jager pong all night
Maybe her vagina is like a vacuum
I can't decide if that would be a good or bad thing. I'm leaning toward good
You just jumped of the couch and yelled "hidden tiger crouching dragon!" That's the answer to how you broke your finger.
Two run-ins with cops/park rangers tonight and now I'm just wandering around high and shirtless
Sacramento doesn't deserve you
I just had sex with the megalodon show on in the background and it was just as magical as it sounds
If you can't drink with the big boys, give up your beer and go back to the playpen
STOP PUTTING PICTURES OF JONAH HILL IN MY KITCHEN CABINETS!
Send me a picture of our booze closet. I'm homesick.
you asked if you could borrow my vagina for the night
Baby Shark came on during sex.
She has BABY SHARK on her sex playlist. Who does that?
Randomize
