my head looks like a cockatoo
mine looks like a lions mane...looks like the entire zoo is going to prom
it sucked. he totally couldn't get it up. blamed it on never having cheated b4. Couldn't stop laughing. fuck.
you announced to the whole room that instead of shaving you were planning to start straightening and then braiding your pubes. awkward silence followed by everyone leaving.
I'm not going to fuck him in his Honda Fit. That's gay.
Correct me if I'm wrong, but I did not stop moving last night. If tequila gives me that extra push to have an active lifestyle, so be it.
I just got licked by a stripper, not so great anymore.
Do what your heart wants. . .
My heart wants to rip his balls off and tie therm to his head using his penis
Dear slutty diary: I lied about feeling guilty of being a homewrecker in order to have more sex. it worked.
If we accept the love we think we deserve do we also accept the sex we think we deserve?
He stole all of his parent's vodka WHILE they were in the room, and then opened the window and snuck out. I was watching from my truck
Oh I will totally be your beard, but on one condition I get to watch you and your boy friend have sex.
It was like something out of a fucked up fairy tale. He just crowdsurfed over to her while riding a keg, said "come sail with me", and then the crowd carried them off into the night. What.
My only regret this past weekend is abusing only 3 substances when I could have done so much more.
UHG. i just want to have hot lesbian sex and eat pizza with you.
I'm not going out, it's sweat pants and gallon vodka night at my place and I'm the only one on the guest list.
This is because you lost at fooseball isn't it?
Randomize
