In retrospect, pretending to punch a 9 year old girl in the face was a terrible analogy to use in a piano lesson.
Funny thing- my attraction to each one is inversely proportional to his level of availability.
mom just called and i was mid bong hit but i answered anyways coughing and sounding rough she the apologized for waking her little angel up. its 2PM
Interestingly im still mad at you for the time we got high and you tried to hump me.
Lol thats a classic
All i remember was he was wearing billibong pants... well actually my mom found that out for me.
Two questions: what are you doing RIGHT NOW? and do you know how to drive a golf cart?
I would've been fine if I didn't do the three shots
You did like 8
I just realized that the thing that smelled like an electrical fire in my house was me.
Just traded a shot of whiskey for a warm PBR on public transit. It's that's sort of night already.
Well, while we went through airport security, I found out Mom got her clit pierced, so there's that.
i just took a huge shit in old main. i think my college bucketlist is finished.
I needed to pee, so I climbed out his window
you had her IN YOUR BED NO PANTS AND YOU GAVE HER THW BOOT?!?!?!
Stage five clinger bro. had to go.
Ive completely stopped wearing makeup. Not even eyebrows. Thats how sick of wisconsin I am.
While finding our clothes afterwards he says..."So do we like have to talk after this?"
Randomize
