Something in my vomit makes me think I shouldn't have had that slurpee
about to play the homeward bound drinking game. alone. what are you doing tonight?
it's to the point where working 2 jobs this summer will absolutely not cover how much i will spend on alcohol next semester.
I have a beer in one hand and a slim fast in another. It's another one of those wednesday nights.
He scratched off my spray tan. Literal nail marks down my back. Can't imagine what's underneath his fingernails.
also bought condoms to give away to people who look like they're about to make a bad halloween decision. I'm like a fairy.
he got everyone in a room, turned off the lights and started throwing knives at the wall. if you got hit, you had to drink...
Bad Decision October is in full swing. I was telling people that "I put on eye makeup today, I'm takin' a dude home with me!".
Idk, you were a drunk pirate that kept stealing pieces of people's costumes to keep as your booty.
That would explain all the random shit in my room...
I am sufficiently unimpressed with the options available to my freshly shaved self tonight.
I have no idea what those words in that order meant, but if you go to Florida send me pics of strippers
Do you always skip to "Baby Got Back" when fat girls show up at the bar?
Learning to live poor pretty well. Cashed in all the coins in my car for nearly 60 bucks and yelled at a Pizza Hut manager, insisting I have a free pizza credit, until he just gave me a pizza.
Drunk in my hotel room, eating taco bell, and crying at Nicki Minaj's life story.
This is why I keep you in my life.
so he found out i have him as "average size" in my phone. fair to say we arnt going to be dating anymore
Randomize