at the resort hottubing with french twins, who brought champange. this should be a postcard.
i wish i could shrink down to the size of his dick so i could just thank it in person.
I'm blaming hurricane Irene if I get pregnant tonight.
It was pretty bad. Like cum-on-my-face-while-singing-Let-It-Snow bad.
She woke me up with an urgent call telling me she was rolling on Mollie and swimming in the ocean. I mean that's just great. If she drowns, I'll feel responsible.
She described me as " a caterpillar of adorable quietness that exploded into a slutty butterfly" She definitely nailed it there
Just traded a shot of whiskey for a warm PBR on public transit. It's that's sort of night already.
He initiated the conversation by sending me a picture of his penis at 4 am
I think he should just go away to a small penis island and never come back
I just moonwalked my socks off. THAT LAZY. THAT HIGH.
Meeting him up for him to pay half of the Plan B was awkward but worth it cause I'm broke as fuck
Interesting. All i can really say is humanoid shaped doritos bags melting very slowly
THIS IS AN AMERICAN HORROR STORY I CAN'T FIND MY VIBRATOR ANYWHERE WHICH MEANS I LOST IT WHEN I MOVED WHICH MEANS MY POOR VIBRATOR IS OUT THERE IN THE WORLD ALL ALONE RIGHT NOW WHAT AM I GOING TO DO
just found out that my aunt grows weed. today is a good day to be me.
I'm about to take plan-b with a glass of wine and ramen noodles. I cannot decide who will hurt more...my vagina, my kidneys or my pride.
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