i wore my purity necklace wen we fucked. but its ok cuz simplified was blasting in the background
hahahaha. im glad listening to simplified justifies breaking ur promise to god
last night you decided it was time to "get organized" and "straighten out your life." You pulled out a bag of troll dolls, sorted through them and got nostalgic. You demanded both andy and i take one and keep it forever.
What the hell do I have to do to get some foreplay around here? This sucks.
I think you know the answer.
How can I marinade myself in Vodka?
We had one of those mutual "I know your on a dating website, I won't tell if you won't" glances.
she's in the bathroom. spitting in the trashcan. not throwing up. just spitting and singing bad romance by lady gaga.
thatta girl
Just walked in on the Yellow Ranger getting porked by a guy in a UD Blue Hen costume. Will somebody PLEASE think of the children.
I just dont understand why you didnt cut me off when I took the funnel into the bathroom and started peeing and funneling at the same time
he confused my yawn for an orgasm
Need your help. He's locked himself in the bathroom with his bong and his childhood collection of Goosebumps books.
You made out with a guy who refers to his cock as "rafiki." Are you proud of yourself?
Delivery driver perk #327: I just paid for part of the security deposit on my new place in pizza. This oughta be a fun renting experience.
I am in his childhood bedroom and I feel like his trophies are applauding me and his stuffed bunny is disgusted with me. Did you know he was a mathlete?
Nothing is creepier than a guy telling you "I was just thinking about you" in a men's bathroom when taking a shit
Roomies told me I showed up to my house alone with no pants on and burrs in my hair... I live in the middle of the city
I have four things I would like to do over summer too... Problem is they're all roommates
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