I used a bag of wine as a pillow last night.
I just foul balled at work. I had taken off my coat too… had to go to the sink wash my hands then go back to the stall and pick up my coat. I hope the guy shitting in the stall next to me didn’t figure out what happened.
you tried to tell me that ice cream had no calories because they were "frozen"
His sex texting was like a step by step guide to the most boring sex ever...
If i come home from court on friday.. i'm definitely doing something illegal.
he was playing drums on rock band as i poured bailey's into his mouth. tell me that's not a bonding moment.
I would just watch. I wouldn't even have a boner cuz I would do so much coke. It would just be funny.
Well, she's officially disappointed in me. I have it writing.
I never knew so many sexual things could be done while wearing footie pajamas
I have reverted to folding laundry while watching porn. how much sadder can my life get?
Being with her was like shitty sexual fear factor big ass sausage nipples over sized outty belly button i was scared and drunk tell know one
So this tall girl jumped in our cab and I was like hey I have pics of u on my phone. It wasn't creepy at all
I managed all three standard threesome configurations a female-bodied person can achieve in just under nine years. I want to high-five everyone involved, but I've lost touch with a couple of them
My mind doesn't wanna day drink but my heart does.
How drunk are you?
Completed.
Randomize
