dude, you're never picky with who you hook up with, have a little dignity
nah man, chicks are like pokemon, gotta catch \'em all
You guys coming?
We are smoking out the bouncer? But after that sure
So ps i'm not pregnant with any athletes illegitimate children : )
I just set a weed brownie on fire in the microwave.
Successful day.
You better have your party panties on Saturday!
Why only Saturday?
Well I have an AA meeting Sat morning so I'm going to try to take it easy Fri.
I'm pregaming for my hair cut. Working two jobs definately taught me how to use my time wisely...
More or less binge drinking as a giant grape seemed justified
You were so excited to be getting 4 tickets to the Whale Rodeo.... That high
All three roommates are gay and in women's studies. Ive already been informed that all penetration is rape. This is not the college experience I signed up for.
I've seen people win free drinks for a lot less dude, no need to drop trou on a piano.
My exam ends at 4pm so I plan to be passed out in the bar by 5pm. Want to join me?
Dislocated my knee during sex, popped it back in and kept going. Then got simpathy chipotle out of it too.
I'm extremely upset that I wasted my "having sex with a guy at work" card on him
You went outside, peed in the front yard, and asked me to bring you some toilet paper.
hotelroom bed is big enough to masturbate in, but small enough to not want to sleep in it after you've masturbated in it
Randomize
