do all gilrs hav hair on thier vagaina ?
Don't drive home.
Told a girl i wanted to feel her bellybutton from the inside... I need to learn how to flirt
That was the scariest sex i've ever heard....
It was the best sex i've ever had.
You're surprisingly coherent for someone who thinks her couch is breathing.
Please don't drown this weekend. It would be a shame to lose a dick like yours.
I just laid my head on this pillow and I smelt your penis. It was comforting.
Haha, oh man. I'm awake now. Slept in my headdress.
I couldn't stop laughing at the fact he was cutting lines with a sears card. What 24 year old has a sears card?
Got stiff armed by the garbage man on the back of the truck...I just wanted to ride one block dude
I'm in public and Taylor Swift is playing. It is taking all my effort to not screech like a goat.
I need a life alert for his random dick pics. My heart can't handle that.
Is it appropriate to send an apology gift to his roommates for breaking the bathroom sink during crazy sex?
wish he had known he had poison ivy on his cock beforehand... Is calamine okay to put on your vag?..
I’m at the Eye doc, sitting in the waiting room. The woman next to me is highlighting passages in her bible. I’m watching pornhub on mute. I clearly need some penis, or Jesus.
Breakfast sounds amazing but can we do IHOP instead? I have to pick up a Plan B pill and there’s a CVS next to it
Randomize
