I only kidnapped one of them. chill
Is it weird if i grunt like Tim Taylor when im having sex AND grilling steaks??
I got so many pubes stuck in her braces that when she yanked her head, I cried out like that one girl you "accidentally" rear-ended last week. Bald spots are battle scars.
You've ruined blow jobs for me. You were the motzart of sucking dick, where every other girl is like awkward elevator music
I'm guessing "whatever I can get" wasn't the reply the nurse wanted when asking what med I need. Oh, and asked for a cartoon band-aid.
I told them I was gay and asked them to pass the pie. I ruined pumpkin pie for grandpa.
Heading to the gym, the one that guy said he goes to. Already checked online, his class is at 5. And no, this isn't too much after meeting him last night. Stop judging me,
gave myself the "you're a really good girlfriend" talk on the way to where i intentionally cheated on him. i am my own drunken therapist.
She had another shot and asked if I wanted to taste her tongue ring. Then I helped her pee.
I had to photo shop your nipple piercings. that was extremely awkward.
I figure that my generation of my family needs an alcoholic. I'll take that burden.
I'm way too hungover for life right now
I am all the way hung over and want nothing more in this world than a McMuffin. Happy day after Thanksgiving.
I had to google some of the kinky sex shit she was telling me she was into.
If that is not a reason to propose to her then I don't know what is
His dick is a skeleton key. It fits everywhere.
Randomize
