I did that thing where I cum for no reason again.
i refuse to live in a world where loud threesomes in your own apartment are referred to as "rude"
did you yell "are you not entertained?"
Poopin on the sidewaaalllkkk. I wish my text told you that was a song
just fed a duck at the lake a weed brownie. it hasnt moved in 20 minutes.
And the cops told us we were all naked.
I made the bartender pinky promise me there was still vodka in my drinks.
He gets you donuts, dinner, and booze consistently, who cares if he's cheating
Remember that time you puked in a beer pong cup while someone else was playing?
that happened
Less than a month to go... I do not understand how I was able to put up with a roommate who wears bright green Crocs for a year.
I'm in my bed. Snow angles in fresh sheets. don't even try to get me out tonight.
Less adorably, the dog stared me down, yelping, while I gave him a morning blowie.
He's a doctor now.. hope he can cure his small dick
I think I'm in the negatives for the quantity of fucks given today.
Ah, Christ. I just saw a D lister I made out with once on a Rock Of Love rerun. Why are you asleep right now? Some weird shit is happening.
In hindsight, maybe rearranging his living room because he has OCD while he was out wasnt the greatest idea. Though it'll keep him busy for HOURS
Randomize
