She had to put it in. I told her I was too drunk and didnt trust myself to not put it in her ass.
I asked him how he was going to celebrate tomorrow and he said "tits, clits, and bong hits"
I fell asleep at the bar. And the bouncer threw a snowball at my face.
there was a sad and surprising lack of "did strippers and blow" in that sentence
Don't let the fact that shes seen my penis discourage you
Trust me at the end of the night there will be queso smothered places you didn't think it could be smothered
Remember that time we got drunk tomorrow
May or may not have been going down the road shooting fireworks.
Also. When I die, I'm gonna have them put me in the casket naked and then have an open casket funeral. That will be my last chance to make people uncomfortable.
I've finally done it, I've downloaded some messenger lesbians like to use because some girl wanted to flirt.
Congrats, you're all grown up now.
I FEEL LIKE A GAY BUTTERFLY
Sorry I sent you a video of a singing reverend last night, I was really high.
I can't wait til me and pit bull can just be together
I woke up this morning and had to retrieve my clothes from the flagpole, they were using my boxers as a makeshift rally flag for drinking. Yeah last night was a success.
You sat down in the middle of the road and started crying. We told you "Get your ass up or we're leaving you here." You replied "They'll findddd meeeeee" and ran after us.
Just bought shot glasses from the thrift store. I think the guy buying a winter coat was even judging me.
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