Did you hallucinate the same white buffalo that I did last night.
No, but I did see you shaking hands with a homeless man.
fighting downstairs. join me tonight to hear their makeup sex. also, let's make skittles vodka.
she's got a whisker from her dead cat taped to the wall. I'm pretty sure that about sums it up...
they bet me shots that I couldn't give people piggyback rides around the club just cause I'm 125lbs and a girl...I had a line forming after the third guy.
I'll report later on the progress of the mountain orgy
Why are you speaking in third person?
Because I'm so hungover that I don't even want to be myself anymore.
The way I'm gonna look at it is, if you don't makeout with your roommate once in college, you didn't do something right.
The last thing I remember is your grandma calling me a pussy and taking my shot for me. Your family is awesome.
God I feel like the rain man of hangovers.
Last time i was there we saw the window of the pizza place we were at get busted, we were pulled out of a taxi to be questioned by the cops, and we peed outside a waffle house. I'm in.
Hello Officers/Paramedics, judging by last night, my friend is dead. The money in his pockets is mine, he owed me. Please send me directions to whichever morgue/strip club for pick up.
There were grown college boys running around north campus in capes with nerf guns. If security were to be called I think they would just give them more beer.
Then, right before he came he said "I want to buy you so many things!" What the fuck?!
SORRY FOR THE CAPS. I DIDNT CHANGE IT IN TIME AND ITS TOO FAR TO GO BACK NOW. PS IM SUPER BAKED
I've been sober for almost two weeks and it's been the worst two weeks ever. Even my mom told me I need to start drinking again.
Randomize