she was licking his armpits.
asian porn is just fucking weird. End of story.
A sandwich with pizza as the bread. I love you.
YES WITH THE SQUARE KIND OF SLICES
How was the rest of your night?
A little fuzzy and a lot naked.
Don't ask me how or why, but I'm drunk with German diplomats. Come over. Now
If you're receiving this text it's probably because I drunkenly flashed you on Saturday. Sorry for forcing you to look at my tits. That was uncalled for.
It's like a new game! Find out if he's circumcised without actually seeing it
oh yeah, there may or may not be a large boa loose in the house when you get home.
I think all the stress in my life right now can be directly correlated with never winning a game of Bop It as a child.
I thought I could grab a hold of my stream of urine. So she left pretty soon after that.
Haha. Maybe he's one of those feminine men who fucks like a god then makes you fantastic crepes afterwards
She just asked what would happen if you put a vacuum in your butt and turned it on. These are our conversations.
Honestly I was sitting in managerial accounting thinking "I really need to get my shit together and stop drinking so much wine." But when you asked I realized... it's wine. It's always a yes.
Yes. I am out of condoms. I kept filling them with glow paint and playing with them when I was on mushrooms, which resulted in me having unprotected sex last weekend
I smell like Dick and happiness
He's making me do the dishes for the next month and half because I shit in the bath tub...
Randomize
