just saw my sister at the strip club... dont think she's "taking a night class over the summer"
Ordered my mom Mother's Day flowers online and moved on to internet porn. Do you think this is some sort of Freudian slip?
All i remember before i blacked out is you pointing to a random chick and telling me to bang her for America.
I just had a brazillian performed by a hungarian named olga. Im pretty sure she was trying to rip out my soul. You owe me a million orgasms
This vodka tastes like I'm not going to class tomorrow.
I just finished packing for spring break, took me 4 minutes. To be fair though I only put my trunks, a pair of underwear, and 50 condoms in my bag.
Maybe the problem is guy has to ask his wife if he can go out to lunch with his girlfriend for an hour...
We were getting fries and you hopped the counter and yelled "WELCOME TO GOOD BURGER HOME OF THE GOOD BURGER" and threw up
I just remember lots of butts and something about ranch dressing.
Update: day 5 and Scott has not left the apartment. Still smoking. Pizza roll supply dwindling.
You got this. You survived the RA last semester (granted you almost got arrested but still.)
Incase you were wondering. Cooking naked turns into sex. Sex and cooking may lead to house fire....
She was nothing like her profile said, we had nothing in common, and her picture mustve been like 30 pounds ago. But yeah we hooked up
There was pot, but there are no Doritos, no Funyons, no Oreos.
Send help.
the sex is SO much better when he thinks im going insane
Randomize
