Never eat 3 McGriddles and drink a carton of milk. It's like you're successfully killing self but you're alive.
He tried. I said no. He said, "It's ok if I do this?" and proceeded to jerk himself off. Oh, the French.
I don't know where I am but there are firefighters
Met some locals. They are taking me to a place where there is topless bullriding. I love this country.
Sorry, can't come over. I have to spend time with my niece. Her Dad ignores her and I don't want her to have male attention issues like you.
she won't be coming home tonight because she tried stealing a baby giraffe from the zoo
I have a beer in one hand and a slim fast in another. It's another one of those wednesday nights.
she was drinking until 3, woke up at 7, shouted 'I'M STILL DRUNK" and went out for a jog in her thong
110% paid for our cab with a lap dance
Yes. We drank 3/4 of a handle of vodka, fried and ate a 3lb package of bacon, I tackled the neighbors snowman, made snow angels in our underwear, and then fucked all night. Christmas success.
I hope you gays don't get too crazy after DOMA. Gay divorces aren't any better than straight ones.
future reference: when you get a text that says "WARNING: EXPLICIT PHOTOS BEING DELIVERED. VIEWERS DISCRETION IS ADVISED." you always open the attached picture.
Is the Glover Park Chipotle past the strip club?
Why is that your only point of reference?
Just answer the question
Came home to butt plugs and dildos in the bathroom sink WTF
Spring cleaning
i'm growling thTa how much i wNn slwwwp.
save me some of whatever you're doing i'll be there in five.
Randomize
