ya dads aren't the best wingmen
alone in the kitchen at 4 am eating a hotdog.
I just googled the nutrition facts for a mcgriddle and yet I still want to go to mcdonalds
Exactly. All of us sinners go to hell and get nothing while all of the goody two shoes get to go to heaven where its all pink floyd, lasers, and pot.
you need to not memorize your credit card number for drunk pizza
i guess i called my mom last night. she wasnt nearly as impressed with what we did in the bathroom as i was
he likes to slap my ass alot untill he missed and hit his own balls poor bastard kept on going.
Also I spent like 2 hours on the hubble/nasa website sunday night looking at pictures of outer space and cried my face off at how beautiful and complex it is. What's wrong with me?!
I'm so bored right now i'm literally Googleing all the possible ways to get high with household items as my mom is sitting in front of me..
He asked me if the reason I slept around is because I grew up in a broken home. I am so done fucking Christians.
That accounts for only three of the penises
I have a big to do list for you. Number 1 - me. Number 2 - drink wine 3. Talk my ears off. 4. Me again
Signs of a stoner: trying everything in your fridge topped with peanut butter to seek satisfaction.
You declared your undying love to a drag queen, then proceeded to puke into the poor man's purse.
I mean, I'm not upset that HE's getting married, I'm upset his penis has to go through with it by default
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