Sometimes I find that I've been touching my boob(s) without even realizing it.
so he just left - touched my cheek like he was gona kiss me and then gave me a fist bump?
Over it. He probably jacked off to bible verses last night. I don't want that
I'm not sure what's more surprising, the fact that she said I reminded her of Danny Devito, or the fact that it got me laid.
I was just compiling a top 5 blowjobs list and that's in there for sure.
hotel security told us you walked into the hotel with blood all over your dress, weren't wearing any underwear and were escorted back by three men who were believed to be "homosexuals".
Just sharpening my eyeliner with a butterfly knife. You know. Typical weekday morning.
After being his wingman last night, I've decided I will never talk about becoming a lesbian ever again. Picking up chicks is way too hard.
Just saw an all male dolphin threesome from underwater viewing
I caved man... I fucked her so vigorously, desperately trying to correct her wonky eye. My determination was relentless.
You are a terrible person.
I just try to be optimistic...
Doap. Just bring some lube and a slingshot. Not sure y we need the slingshot.
So both cops helped talk her into coming back into the bar and doing a shot with me. The main argument being, "a bar is no place to be sober!"
The security deposit's gone, let's trash this motherfucker
I was fed cake in bed and then was pinned down and ridden till I came. And then fed more cake. I'm going to marry Brad. I'll put money on it.
The fact that I’m not married yet means there are millions of lucky girls out there who have dodged a bullet
Randomize
