Just wanted to let you know that if you need my services as a male dancer for his birthday, let me kno so I can clear my schedule
how can u be prego again
dude, my face is all kinds of fucked up right now. and don't even start with i told you so...
You threw a bottle at the bartender and then stole his tip jar. However, you were quickly KO'd by the bartender. Solid right hook.
I dont think punching her boob is the type of reverse psychology that will get her to blow you.
You could give me a blowjob later? :)
I meant do something romantic..
Blowjob In the moonlight?
I just saw her shopping list. The only things on it are blackberries, hot fudge and condoms. I almost don't wanna know. Almost.
I mean, I know going to rehab probably didn't make her a lesbian, but I can always hope
I want to take my head off and cuddle with it
Maybe it will forgive me and stop being an asshole
I love you. Happy valentines. Satin Patricks dayyyyyyyyyy. Alreadythrew up. Geeeeerait.
I learned so much about myself in that shower.
It's tough not drinking when the bartender adds rum to your coke without telling you, and doesn't charge you
Just an fyi, you also tried to wrangle a peacock last night.
So Blakes coming home... so if youre like fingerbanging the shit out of yourself on the kitchen table...wrap it up
How does the curb feel today?
It's stronger than my elbow. But I found my lighter while I was down there.
Randomize
