i have a feeling tonight will end in rehab
So we were in the middle of hooking up when he stopped me. I thought he was having a moral dilemma about the whole having a girlfriend thing. But no. He got down on all fours, butt naked, and started throwing up and farting simultaneously. I took it as my cue to leave.
last night he was wasted watching Entourage and changed everyone in his phone book to LLOYD!!!!
So I accidentally txted this girl with the same name as the one im seeing, as it turns out shes still dtf
All I remember from my 21st is crying because the bouncer made him put his shirt back on
Hey so summary of last night. I threw up in a rain boot then tipped it over on my bed, did my laundry and passed the fuck out. I feel like I didn't see you.
HOW DID YOU GET DEPORTED FROM THE BAHAMAS
When we asked you how you got there you replied in all seriousness, "rode my legs"
I should work for the FBI. Or planned parenthood.
That's quite a broad spectrum. What did you do?
In other news, I apparently ate my retainers while rolling last night.
Tabs I had open this morning: "15 hedgehogs with things that look like hedgehogs" and an unexplored google search for "how do I express my love of tacos"
Just woke up, shitty hungover, and realized that every article of clothing I slept in was backwards, bra included. Fuck you, gin. Fuck you.
Thanks for bringing me tea/a bucket. You have earned yourself a face touch.
He kept telling me that it stood for Sex Utility Vehicle
the amount of 23-year-old guys who have seen me naked is starting to get a little worrying
Randomize