I just watched Juno. I kind of wish I was in highschool and pregnant
No. I broke it. Note to self, never take a shower with your phone in your pocket.
Just used my cancer results to get a free lap dance. Great day just got better.
He gave me a hug and said "He doesn't deserve you, Anna. Your boobs are great, and I'd fuck you anytime. Any. Place." I need a new 'gay' friend.
I like the odds of his and my children being professional athletes too. To support me in my old age, see I do think about the future.
I'm lying topless with an eye infection at the foot of my bed with a dog between my legs. With disney in the background. Its one of those 3 am moments
I had 800 mg of ibuprofen 2 b vitamins and I'm pounding water like I'm trying to win a hazing
I walked into a McDonalds at 8:30 am with a half-eaten apple and a solo cup. Never felt so judged.
It's gameday bitch. Man up.
my throat is bruised, my back is scarred, my vagina feels like it's going to fall off.. you're like godzilla. you destroy everything.
Apparently I was telling them, "I AM A STRONG INDEPENDENT WOMAN AND I DON'T NEED YOU TO HOLD MY HAIR," and I pulled my hair back and puked.
Death by dick. An honorable death. Put a picture of his dick in the photo collage at my funeral.
He responded to all of my texts prodding for dirty talk with "I will do anything you are comfortable with."\n\nChivalry is great, but being comfortable doesn't get me wet.
The stripper started talking about murdering people....that lapdance turned dark.....
There's nothing classy about a pregnant girl at a frat party...remember that.
LOOK AT HOW SMOOTH THIS BITCH IS
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