is she serious with that outfit? Why doesnt she just paste a for sale sign on her boobs?
I saw an Asian dude carrying a patchwork denim purse get into a car with two rednecks at the grocery store tonight. Imagine what I could have seen if I had actually done something interesting.
She's Christian and monogamous. Two wammies right there. No amount of convincing will turn that bi for a night.
I just remembered our "im drunk enough to look at your vagina" conversation. Is that offer still valid? I really think I need a second opinion
Roommate is high and swore off off the diet. Said she wants to make everyone else fat since it'd be easier. She spent today baking 3 dozen brownies for the office tomorrow and is already down to 24.
I know you think I'm being paranoid, but can you please make sure Danny doesn't rub my wedding invitation on his balls?
she puked ON me while she was on top, worst holiday hookup ever
The moment you realize you should grow up: you're snorting your fathers percocet script with your old health insurance card, while your parents are on a 10 day cruise in the carribean...
No. I think its because I really and truly know that he is a moron and his future prospects are zoo animals.
Just follow the currents of life. And if they take me on to a guys dick, so be it.
A fair warning: I don't think a cop will let you off the hook just because your birthday is on New Year's Eve
Oh damn it. Let me get a beer. I can't take anymore bad news. Hold on.
if he ever tells me he loves me when we are sober, i am a goner. just fyi.
I don't think it's a coincidence that the day I just happen to do the splits at the gym I come back with 7 guys' phone numbers.
can jess come too?
sure! but I don't have enough booze for the both of you.
she comes with her own booze, no worries.
Randomize
