Just figured out how to smoke weed with a toaster.
I got fingered by sexual harassment panda last night, by a van, I can't remember if he took off his furry panda hands...
oh my god. i just found my camera... on top of the bush outside of my house. never let me drink everclear again
If theres one good thing that came out of our relationship its this chicken recipe. And squirting.
having someone tell me to "prepare my vagina" is not really something I want to hear..
Bering your kids um. Abiout tol. Throw up
Just bought a 17 year old 40's while wearing a poncho. This behavior is acceptable until I'm 25.
Best oral ever, hands down so to speak. but I'm starting to want to meet that lesbian truck driver he says he's better than. Just for comparison purposes of course.
That was the #1 scariest moment in my life. I have full trust in you, I let you bite my penis for god sake.
I ran into his family and they made me a ham sandwich and I asked if they wanted to come streaking. I felt they deserved the invite.
Just check with her if girls can get blown, that's all.
I'm pathetic. I'm eating cream puffs in the bath and crying a little.
Literally just sitting around waiting for someone to come along and fuck my chakras back into alignment
Yes, you can glue plastic eyes to my dick and take pictures while I'm asleep. If you tell anyone I said you could do that Ima fight you.
I want your cock. I also want to cuddle you and tell you how amazing you are, because you know balance.
Randomize
