I will be horny for about another two hours. Feel free to call me until then.
I am swimming in semen. He must have been holding it in for a special occasion.
I just threw up and a whole piece of spaghetti came out of my nose. I don't even remember eating spaghetti.
so this was truly a case of the blacked out leading the blacked out.
My parents just suggested that we tailgate the midnight christmas service. this is my gene pool.
Ok if you are accepting my apology, please continue to ignore me. If you are not, please fill out the brief survey that follows, to help me improve my people relations: a) your a bitch please leave me alone b)your crazy pls leave me alone c) I never cared ab u please leave me alone. D) all of the above e) all of the above but I wouldn't mind still fucking u. F) who are you again? Your answer will not b shared and will b used in accord. With the law. TY
If the blood belongs to whoever dumped glitter all over my couch than the motherfucker got what was coming to them. If not, I hope they're ok.
TAKE ALL THE MAERHMALLOWS AND PUT THEM ALL IN THE MAGICAL NIGHTSTAND
If you wake up tomorrow and start to wonder.... Yes you did just eat mild sauce from taco bell out of the package while informatively yelling about the loss of my virginity
he calls himself the gay cupid because he matches two guys looking to hookup on craigstlist with each other. get me out of here. please.
actually there are like 49038098 people in the bathroom for no reason. Singing My Heart Will Go On and pseudo fighting.
He said I was doing well, so I stopped mid blow job to compliment his grammar. You could say I like intellectuals
Knowing how to carefully mix my vices has to be the #1 skill I've gotten from pharmacy school
I'm gonna go parent style on your ass... I don't ask much from you but if you could please just come get shitfaced with me I would really appreciate it
Her tits are so fantastic they gave him a panic attack.
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