Phrase i just heard while watching the U.S. open: "Boy they have really trimmed it well, this has got to be the tightest hole in the Open."
dude on moped wearing crocs...somebody get this guy his man card back
I had a dream last night that I had to pretend I liked Dave Matthews Band to impress this girl I was talking to.
I guess it was more of a nightmare.
Yeah, I have to wait a few months then take a sample in, I asked the doctor if the sample could be wiped off my wife's back...i told her he said face only.
christmas break will be like the 25 days of orgasms
My mom is purposely blasting Shania Twain downstairs so I can't jack off.
Why does it always end up with me crying in my car.
I just had some guy offer to eat me out on my lunch break... I think single life is getting better everyday
Its what im here for. Critiquing penis photos.
I feel like I wont be making enough money to support my frivilous lifestyle of beer and mcdonalds
Do you have any pictures of me mounting animals that aren't on Facebook?
I'm still pretty drunk right now, but when this hangover hits me, I'm going to be super pissed. It's a preemptive never drinking again.
Colombian exchange intern from my Mom's friend's ranch loves me, and is staying the night because we got each other drunk. Successful Christmas? I think yes.
What are best friends for?
Picking your clothes up from a one night stand you had nearly 2 months ago
I found condoms in the back yard from you and your boyfriend. My house isnt a motel
Randomize
