i just googled 'classy porn'. high, low, i dunno i just got bored of cum shots.
It all came flooding back to me: there was a woman with one hand
we made out on top of his cat.
At what point in time did you decide the pot head with Taco Bell was more important than all your friends.
At about the same time you guys weren't burritos.
Got to see someone fall down the stairs while holding hot coffee and a folder full of papers. Best Monday ever.
The last thing i remember was high fiving everyone on the planet.
its safe to say i can delete the contact in my phone "brandon random bus make out" from spring break right?
he ate me out like he was chugging a beer.
You would think the bank would reward me for getting my account down to 3 cents without overdrafting it.
I'm so hungover. I just keep eating the otter pops I'm trying to use to get rid of my hickies.
I believe in using alcohol to heal from the inside. Not as a topical solution.
I got unbelievably drunk yesterday, need some time off. Apparently pulling your balls out to make your buddy's girlfriend miss beerpong shots is frowned upon.
He left me alone in a hotel room my last night in town to go home to jerk off and watch TV. So yeah, I guess we're not really friends.
i have paint on my face i'm missing my earrings, there's a bag of rice in my room, and i have a purse full of monopoly pieces
random boy in my bed. last night wasnt a dream. fuck.
Randomize
