Who were the five players on the alien team from space jam?
so now she's a stripper
can't say i'm surprised
Currently in a meeting. i am playing the not throw up game. god i hope i dont lose.
It's 8 am and he's already trying to get me to make out with a girl.
For when you/if you wake up tomorrow.. You broke 4 of the bar's glasses tonight and I am currently watching you as you ride the broom around the bar instead of cleaning up your mess. I am no longer able to come up with excuses for you.
it only took 2 hours but we managed to melt the purity ring down with a butane torch
i wish i could tell my students that all of their lessons plans were brought to them by captain morgan and diet coke. it's like seasame street, only for high schoolers being taught by a student teacher.
turns out putting a tie on my unicorn onesie didn't make it acceptable "formal wear" and I found salsa in my cup holder
I made everyone scream the national anthem with me after playing true American last night. I'm pretty much their leader now.
I told him the only reason I'd sleep with him is if we have a threesome because I'll need moral support
We kind of crashed their funeral party. Oops.
You threw up a gallon of vomit. I really have never seen anything like it in my decade of partying.
I just wish the first erections of my life didn't take place at a dentists office but hey whatever I turned out alright
Where are you? Where am I? Why am I so red?
He is obviously into the really short sex we have.
Randomize